Bringing Good Home

My husband is far from perfect.

That may seem a bit harsh of a statement considering this is Father’s Day and all! Today you’ll find all sort of tributes to amazing husbands everywhere. But humor me for a moment..

It is true that my husband isn’t much for romantic gestures. He doesn’t really care for going out on dates and doesn’t get why giving flowers is appealing.

It is also true that he’s not big on long conversations and he’s really picky about his personal space - sometimes even with me.

My husband is not a morning person. He doesn’t wake up with sweet words or anything remotely resembling a smile. In fact, you’re better off keeping your distance for, oh, a good twenty to thirty minutes at least.

My husband is a picky eater, a picky clothes wearer, and sometimes he’s just downright picky. At times it can make him a bit difficult to live with. Other times it’s a bit humorous.

So, yes, I don’t have the perfect husband who makes me breakfast in bed or takes me out dancing and dining.

But you know, when he does do something romantic - it’s usually something big and it’s always very special. One time when I was pregnant with our second daughter, he came home from work and told me to get dressed up because we were going out. He wouldn’t tell me where we were going, but he had already arranged childcare and all I had to do was come along for the date. It was very special.

And even though my husband doesn’t care much for long conversations, he’s usually willing to listen. Quite often I’ll keep him up late by talking instead of falling asleep while he listens and contributes and asks questions from time to time.

Plus, even if he’s super protective of his personal space at times throughout the day, he always cuddles up to me before he can go to sleep. Always. When I’m gone, he has to hold my pillow - how sweet is that?

And yeah, he’s not a morning person. Shucks, neither am I. The fact that he needs a few minutes to really wake up means that I get a few minutes to really wake up, too. Can you imagine if I married someone who woke up insanely early whistling a tune while I peeled one I open and begged my eyes to focus on the numbers on the clock and pleaded with my brain to interpret them? Um… yeah.

And as far as being picky goes… he IS extremely picky. There’s no denying that. And sometimes it makes things more difficult. But at least I know what to expect. Most of the time I’m not caught off guard and I’m able to anticipate his reactions in advance. Which is good because I don’t like being caught off guard. I mean, who does? But think about this too… This man who is quite possibly THE pickiest person I have ever met… picked me more than ten years ago and asked me to marry him. How about that.

So there you go. My imperfect husband. MY imperfect husband. I love him so, imperfections and all. And, I’m not so perfect either. I have my own issues. My hubby could write his own version of this post, to be sure.

By the way, I believe that God led me to my husband and brought us together. Through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer,… “what God has joined together let no man separate.”

My imperfect husband.

My perfect match.

Happy Father’s Day, James. I love you.

There are a ton of things we will never understand about God’s plan, like “Why did God create black widows or scorpions?” or “Why did God create the terrible twos?” My question for today is: “Why, oh why, did God create poison ivy?!” As far as I can tell it serves no purpose. If I’m wrong, please correct me; I’d really like to know.

I’d like to know because I’m one of those unlucky ones that react to the urushiol oil in it. I’d like to know because last summer I dealt with it several times, and now I’ve got my first batch for this summer. On the back of my knee. Where it, you know, bends.

Lucky, lucky me.

Fortunately I’ve been through it enough times to catch it early and get some Ivarest on it which helps with the itching which helps with the scratching. Trust me, you do NOT want to scratch it. It makes it itch more. It makes it blister more. It just makes it worse.

And by the way, have you ever tried to walk around without bending one leg? Not only do you look funny, but it’s really hard to do! Especially with small children. It’s difficult to sit down on or stand up out of a chair while keeping a leg straight. It’s nearly impossible to crawl in bed and get your feet under the covers without bending your knee. I tried. It was not elegant or graceful.

Oh and if you’re wondering - it usually takes a couple to three weeks to go away completely. Yeah. That’s all. Only that long.

Pft! Pshaw! Is that all? Well then… Who needs to bend their leg anyway?

Ahem.

Perhaps God created poison ivy to teach us patience…

Hello, all! Last week was weird - I’m eagerly embracing the new week ahead, that’s for sure!

Last week began with a family gathering and good visiting. But in the back of my mind, I was pre-occupied with a nagging question, one that I had been pondering for more than three weeks - I thought that perhaps we might be expecting our 4th child. But with only one faint positive result more than a week prior to that, and 3 negative ones since then, I was hesitant to embrace that possibility. And when I began having strong, low back pains and abdominal cramps over the weekend, I decided to call the doctor first thing Tuesday morning - which I did. By that point, other things began going on (read into that ladies) and a blood test first thing Wednesday morning came back negative. It had been a week and a half since the faint positive. We’ll never know whether I really was or wasn’t pregnant or if the whole thing was just a crazy fluke. (I certainly felt like I was.) Either is a possibility. Now, don’t worry about me, because I’m fine really. I had already accepted both possibilities. I was and am resting in the goodness of God no matter what comes my way. Still, Tuesday and Wednesday were a little bit of a blur. So were the two weeks before that, for that matter. Between the brain fog and the fatigue I was experiencing, my house was starting to suffer a little. So by the end of last week when I started feeling better, I rolled up my sleeves and got back to work. Evidenced by my lack of blogging last week, I’ve been preoccupied one way or another.

There is still more to do, though. A little more laundry to catch up on, some remaining hand dishes. Each of the bedrooms need a good picking up and refreshing. And pretty much everything that can be swept or mopped or wiped down needs it. Yup. That’s pretty much the state of my house right now.

We did finally test Princess last Friday as well, which I’ll report on later this week, as well as some other things and the promised graphing results. It’s my intent to work all day today and then sit down after the kids go to bed and dish out a week’s worth of posts. So if you’ll be patient and bear with me.. all your questions will be answered soon. Well, all the questions to which I have answers, anyhow.

So without further ado, here’s the rest of Monday Meanderings: Read the rest of this entry »

You might be one of them.

But I’m okay with that.

I didn’t grow up with the desire to bake or sew. I wasn’t into gardening or anything remotely close to homemaking, cleaning or organizing.

Now I find myself drawn to each of these. It’s thrilling to bake bread from scratch, make my own soap, grow our own vegetables, organize my home and even sew on occasion for special products. Granted, I’m still new at a lot of these, but I really enjoy it and I want to keep it up and get better at it.

I find myself thinking weird things like: “Wonder how you make your own crackers?” So far I’ve learned to make a lot of things to save on the cost of their store-bought equivalents - like granola bars, french fries, hamburger buns, egg nog, and hopefully soon yogurt. I’m not the best cook, but I just keep doing it anyway.

I also enjoy staying here at home, being the keeper, spending days in and days out here with my family. I like organizing and de-cluttering, keeping order around the house. I’m not going to lie, I don’t particularly care for washing dishes or mopping. But I do like that I have the opportunity to stay home and be a housewife - and I don’t find it demeaning or degrading or de- anything. To me, it’s a high calling. I’m not the best at that either, but I just keep working away at that, too.

Even with all that on my plate, I also enjoy homeschooling our children. It takes a lot of discipline and work. But I love it more than I can explain. In fact, I adore our children and love having them to care for and train and raise. They don’t always make it easy, either. Yet there’s nothing like a mother’s love is there? In fact, I’d even like to have another. Some people say I’m crazy just for that.

I also love my husband, and I don’t have a problem with the word “submission” because I don’t see it as being defined as “doormat,” “servant,” “puppet,” “opinion-less,” “zombie-like” or “ignorant”… but rather I define it as “gladly serving under the leadership of.” I’m not always good at that, sometimes I screw up, but I don’t have a problem with it at all. It’s something I strive for.

I love God most of all. And sure, there are plenty of people who’d say I’m crazy for that. Some people, even other Christians, might look at me like I’m some kind of off-the-deep-end nut, because I completely believe that God is in control of everything, everything that happens is by God’s plan, everything that happens can be used by God for my spiritual good, and no matter what happens I will always trust in God for everything.

If you wrap that whole package up together, I guess I might come off as a little strange to some. Maybe you don’t get it. Maybe you do. I hope you do. But maybe you don’t. And that’s okay.

Raise an eyebrow if you must.

Just know that I don’t regret or dislike a single moment of it. I’m not brainwashed or brainless or backward.

I am, though, happy. Loved. Complete.

I guess what I’m saying is, that if this is what “strange” is… then sign me up.

I remember way back when, okay about 8 years ago, when I eagerly anticipated the arrival of my first child. I remember setting up the nursery, lovingly folding all the teeny little onesies in a drawer; my husband and I tossed names back and forth; I tenderly laid a couple of stuffed animals in the crib; I thought about holding her for the very first time.

I knew it wouldn’t be perfect. I knew that there would be midnight feedings. I knew there would be poopy diapers. I knew there would be terrible twos, and terrible threes, and precocious fours.

Boy, I didn’t know all the things I didn’t know.

Oh, all the things I know NOW.

• I know that the best thing for getting gum out of hair is peanut butter.
• I know how important it is to always have a backup pacifier.
• I know what it’s like to drive to Walmart at two o’clock in the morning for a replacement pacifier.
• I know pennies can be eaten. And passed.
• I know that pee and poop can travel across an entire room if you don’t change a diaper fast enough.
• I know that puke can travel faster than the speed of sound.
• I know that toddlers like to play in messy (and gross) things. See above.
• I know that babies have a death grip when it comes to pulling hair.
• I know that toddlers have a propensity for cutting hair.

But there’s more. So much more.

~ I know how sweet babies smell after a bath, and how there’s nothing like nuzzling a clean baby neck or smelling a powdery fresh baby’s head. I know how it feels when they cuddle up close and rest against you in complete and total peace. I know how my heart swells when a baby grasps my finger or clings to me while feeding.

~ I know the pride that comes with each milestone and the joy that accompanies each new discovery. I know how it feels the first time they say “momma” and the first time they reach to be picked up.

~ I know the wonder and excitement as they begin to crawl, walk, talk, run, and learn. I know what it’s like to discover each step with them and teach them the way.

~ I know what it’s like when they’re old enough to interact and converse and say “I love you,” “Come play with me,” or “I want to hold you.” I know how neat it is when they begin to color and draw and read and write.

But yet, it’s still so much more than that.

I now know what it feels like when they recite their first memory verse, talk about God and say their sweet little prayers. I also know what it feels like when they come to Christ, accepting him as their Lord and Savior. I know how it feels to see them beginning to make decisions on their own, choosing right from wrong and picking out their way.

More than that:

~ I know how my heart freezes and my breath stops each time I imagine some kind of harm that might hurt them.

~ I know how my heart aches to think about how quickly they are growing up, and how little time I really have with them.

~ I know how my heart is burdened to prepare them as best as I can for all that life will bring.

~ I know how my heart yearns for them to know God, really know God.

~ I know how my heart feels every second of the ticking clock as the sands of time slip through my fingers.

Still more?

I know that nothing else has a hold on my heart that same way that my children do. I love God first, I love my husband second, and I love my children more than anything else in this whole wide world. Because of that, I’ll keep bandaging booboos, cleaning up messes, settling arguments, disciplining disobedience, training, teaching, guiding, growing, and giving.

Imagine, just imagine, all the things that I don’t even know that I don’t know right now. Imagine all the things I’ll know in another 8 years, or 18. Imagine how sweet it’ll be to know those things then, and how fun/hard/enjoyable/amazing it will be learning them all along the way.

Read “What I Now Know About Motherhood…” at This Thing We Call Life.

I have the most amazing thing outside my window right now! A wren has built a nest and I have a front row seat to watch and wait for her babies to hatch and grow and and fly away. I’ve posted about it here, complete with pictures:

When God Uses His Creation To Reveal Himself To Us.

Update: Sad, sad news about our bird nest. I’ve updated the post on Imperishable Beauty.

Drama Queen:

“Dear God…And help the dogs and the cats and the lions and the giraffes and the zebras feel better when they go to the vet.”

(?)

To be fair the rest of the prayer very sincere and sweet and heartfelt. I guess I just never thought of praying for all the cats’ and dogs’ and lions’ and zebras’ and giraffes’ vet visits before.

All smirking aside, I have noticed a shift in her praying, that she’s praying more for others. Even if it does include lions and zebras and giraffes. Makes my heart melt.

3:30 a.m. I should be sleeping. But I’m not. Adrenaline does that. It’s funny that way.

It’s tornado season in Texas. And we’d been under a warning all day long. Many other counties nearby had been hit, but our little county had been spared. Until about 2:45 a.m…

I awake to a slight noise. It’s my sweet little boy calling for me. I make it as far as the living room and pause, realizing that I don’t hear him anymore. Do I dare tread any farther? He may have gone back to sleep. No, wait, that’s him again. He just needs to be tucked back in bed. Well, I’m fully awake now, I’ll stand here and rock him a few minutes first.

Goodnight sweetheart, I love you.

Tiptoeing back through the living room and passing the kitchen….did I lock the back door? Jiggle. Locked.

Now what’s that? The cat must’ve heard me jiggle the door. It wants in.

Come here kitty. Here kitty. Get. In. The. House. Kitty. It sits and meows and stares at me. The other one walks up and plops down in the middle of the porch and does the same. What’s up with you strange kitties tonight?

And then a wall of wind hits me. I raise my eyes to the horizon. Lighting. Lots of it. Lots of wind, and a low rumble, too.

Wait – weird kitties, wind, rumbles… are we still under a tornado warning?

And then the power goes out. And then another wall of wind hits the house as thunder rips through the air.

And it’s, Pitch. Black.

Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez, oh geez.

Flashlight? No, candles, yes! Lighter, good. Candle. I can see. I can see. I’m okay. I’m okay…

But not with all the wind and rain and lightening and thunder. I should check… oh but the power’s out, can’t turn on the tv. The laptop is charged… but the modem needs power.

So how the heck am I supposed to check the weather?!?

Okay, I’m officially VERY worried.

This is not the time to wish I had a portable radio with batteries like I’m supposed to. Besides- which flippin station would I turn to? Who the heck is paying attention to my tiny little town at three o’clock in the morning?

Breathe.

Window. Nose to glass: God protect my home and my family and keep us safe. God protect my home and my family and keep us safe. God give me wisdom to know if I need to hide in the closet with the kids. God protect my home and my family and keep us safe…

Standing guard for my family at 3 a.m.

For 15 minutes. Praying and watching.

Watching the storm unfold, relaxing as it begins to pass, I’m finally able to sit on the edge of the bed and watch the rest of it while hubby sleeps peacefully through the whole thing.

Figures.

Thankfully the kids did, too. Never made a peep. Praise God.

Obsess much? Not me.

Except about my kids.

And tornadoes.

(Written at 3:30 in the morning while I waited to get sleepy again.)

THE NEXT DAY:

Our power was not restored until 11 a.m.

I learn that my neighbor took shelter when their weather radio started going off about a tornado on the ground.

I learn that a community farther down our county road has damage, presumably from a tornado.

I go to town and SEE that there is a considerable amount of damage not TWO MINUTES FROM MY HOUSE.

You see? A momma knows. Those gut feelings we get aren’t for naught.

There have been various other reports of damage all over town. So far, everyone I have talked to is safe, and I have not heard any reports of injuries.

PRAISE GOD.

Sometimes I think I should have named this blog “Surviving on an Extra Dose of God and Double Shot of Coffee.” =)  For the last four days I’ve been running on God and caffeine while taking care of a hubby with the flu and bronchitis and three kids with viruses. Ick. But God has gotten me through it! So when the going gets tough…grab a bible and your favorite brew and dig in!

This is one of my favorite songs. Ever.